Why is there always so much guy-girl drama? Well the obvious answer is that God created men and women to be attracted to each other and so whenever the two are in proximity to each other, stuff happens. Sometimes...I almost wish I wasn't attracted to guys. They're so distracting sometimes. Like one little comment from a guy or something he does can throw my mood off for the rest of my day. Okay, that makes it sound extreme. It's not like my mood totally depends on guys, but I am affected by them. I hate it though. I wish I didn't care. Does this mean I'm insecure? That I'm not totally assured of my worth and identity in Christ? I always thought I was a pretty well-grounded person...
Yesterday and today I was feeling sorta weird. In a funky mood. hence the cryptic pointless post last night. I didn't feel like being sociable. In fact I felt like tearing someone to pieces. verbally, that is. It was terrible. Maybe I'm feeling the strain of always being polite and friendly here. I mean, the only person I can be remotely free with is Zanna. And even then, I can't lash out like I do to my family. Not like I should even do that. Are my actions a fake then? Do I not really act as I feel? But I shouldn't give into every impulse like that.
ah. I need time to stop and think. I'm always going going going.