slowly fading away

I told my dad yesterday that I was handling the workload fine...but I'm not too sure about that. I mean, I'm maintaining my grades in classes, around an A- right now, but I can bring it up with midterms and quizzes and finals. And I'm more focused in my practice time now since I'm only averaging 2.5 hours a day. But my time with God is suffering. Mornings are rushed again, unlike the beginning of the semester. Oh, the sweet, sweet times I spent with my Lord for those first few weeks. Rising early and spending a full half hour in his Word and praying.

In the evening, by the time I get back to my room, it's usually 9 or later, and I've been out since 8:30 in the morning. I take care of encampment business, roll around to do what homework is due the next day, and look, it's 12am already. Time to sleep.

This is not good. I remember the peace I felt throughout staff selection day because I rose 15 minutes early (5am, baby) to calibrate myself to the Lord before plunging into the day. I desperately need that as I learn and make decisions throughout the day.

Another area I'm failing at - relationships. I never was the most sociable person to begin with, and now with this--I feel like I'm always on the phone. Which I probably am...455 minutes last month, not counting free weekends and nights. I don't have time to spend "chilling" or even having meaningful conversations. Or if I do I'm too emotionally and mentally drained to do justice to my friends. I wonder if this is good for me in the long run.

Don't think I'm regretting my decision. I think this post is colored by 1. the fact that it's getting late, 2. I'm hungry but know I'll feel guilty if I eat at this late hour, and 3. we hit a snag in our RST plans today and things aren't going spit-spot.

I can do this. Tomorrow is Friday already. Another weekend of...homework. Writing 2nd short story. Yay.