whirlwind

Hi. I'd just like to let you know that I'm suffering from a lack of contact with certain friends back home right now. :( It's been so, so lovely reconnecting with all my Wheaton friends, but some people back home I just can't get off my mind. I read someone's cheesy Facebook status yesterday about how missing someone is when you're doing something and you wish they were there with you. Yeah, that's the way I feel about so much of this. Even simply walking through campus, or sitting in a restaurant, I wish it were with so-and-so. I. miss. people.

But really, it's been amazing how "whole" I've felt. It really is almost like coming home. The first night was the most lonely because it was SO quiet. I missed mommy and daddy and Stephen so much I almost cried then. But Kaitlyn came the day after, and more people, and now we've got a bunch of freshmen on the floor. I have started catching up with so many friends too...about our summers, life in general. Even people I didn't think I'd be so glad to see, and would be so glad to see me. I even talked with one of my senior conservie friends about the whole becoming a non-music-major thing...she's not sure she wants to continue with music either.

Work has been another actually good part of life. The work atmosphere at CPO has always been one of heavy sarcasm and indie music. It took me a little getting used to at first because I'm not always that quick-witted. But it's been great to be one of the experienced workers and to spend time, during work and meals, with a different set of people than I'd normally do.

I am off to write more essays yay...

PS...I suppose this is becoming more of a "time at Wheaton" blog than a "musings of a Wheaton freshman" blog, so it's time to change that blog description...

please don't leave, don't leave me

I am feeling sad and down and angsty tonight. I do not want to leave home again. I hate packing my life into two suitcases, a carry-on, and a backpack. Why does life turn out this way? Whoever thought up the idea of college, and leaving your home to study your butt off in a foreign place, clearly wasn't one of the ones being sent (/was an idiot). Whoever thought it was a good idea for me to go to college 800 miles away was...oh wait, that was me. Because no matter how much I complain about New Jersey, no matter how much I chafe under my parents' discipline, this will always be home. And I will always be homesick. Even when I am happy.

And this is why emotional stability is one of the tenets of good leadership. Because if I were writing this about encampment, I'd be in serious doo-doo right about now. Venting on FB? fuggedaboutit.

just for funzies

LOLOL so I just read an article on Tiger Woods firing his longtime caddie...and here's one of the readers' comments: "Tiger who? I wish he'd just retire and disappear. Why should I be interested in anything he does/did/may do? Like the Kardashians, and Real Housewives, Mike Tyson, Lady Gag-Gag, and Uriah Heep. Good bye, and good night."

URIAH HEEP?? major props to you, well-read commenter. HAHAHA

unless...he's referring to the English rock band, Uriah Heep. In which case I will give him less props, but props to the band for choosing that name. xD

just for funs (and lazies)

So I saw the piano template while I was working on another form...and decided it was now or never, or else I'd never have a chance to use the piano template for anything...so I made a form. Consider it the grown-up version of "Quiz about MEHHH!!?!! <3" hehe

un-friending...

I dreamt two nights ago that I un-friended two groups of people on Facebook. In those two groups were a couple people that I actually wanted to keep as friends.

I woke up and thought I'd really done that, checked Facebook, and realized it was a dream. Then I laughed at myself for being so ridiculously silly and petty.

But just now I was randomly stalking some of my peeps on Facebook, and remembered this one photo I wanted to look up. I remember that it's in my Deputy Commander's "Summer 2011" album, so I go to her page. And lo and behold, I see the little button that says "Add as friend."

Now, before you tell me this is getting trivial, let me just say that this is someone I've developed a good working relationship with, someone I would say I am good real life friends with. I've been on the phone with her more than any of my good girl friends for the past 8 months. We ESPN. We know how the other person works. We've just survived the most stressful 10 days of our lives together. And now we're not even Facebook friends?

I'm not really upset, just plain surprised. Yes, this is trivial, but really, is this an indicator of where our relationship has gone? At the end of encampment, we had an open discussion where we laid out how we thought we two had miscommunicated during the week and how we said some things we probably shouldn't have. But does she hate me?

Before we left she told me she "f---ing hates [my other deputy]." I took that as heated words in the moment and kinda brushed it off. But I checked, and she's unfriended him too.

I guess the question now is, do I care? Well, yes, I am personally offended that she doesn't think I'm even worth keeping on Facebook. And we need to have a good working relationship until at least the AAR...I can't have her hating my guts before we finish this thing up.

But I think back to that night before we had our little "serious talk." I was talking it over with some of my trusted advisors - CAP senior members and AF personnel and such. Lt. J asked about our personal relationship, whether that factored into the equation. And honestly, it didn't. I didn't see myself staying lifelong friends with her. We come from such radically different places, and we've never been able to be completely open with each other.

So no, in the long run, I don't care that she's being petty and leaving me out of her virtual life. I've got plenty of other people to stalk. ;)

And yes, I just wrote a whole blog post, my first in a while, about unfriending people on Facebook. Oh the travails of a 21st century teen. ::cheeky grin::

In the near future I may post about Encampment. I'm still in the process of writing my private account in my journal, and completing my official account in my continuity file, so it might take a while.