a day of infamy

I can't believe it's been 10 years since 9/11. I can't believe there is a generation of kids growing up who don't have a connection to that event at all. As I have no idea how the Vietnam War affected the past generations of Americans, or how other big events like the Watergate scandal changed people's lives.

 I remember I started this blog around this time last year, and wrote a whole long cathartic post on my 9/11 memories. It's late now, and I doubt I'll write anything nearly as long and coherent...but I can't help but feel unwhole if I don't finish this before I go to bed.

 I took a long time thinking of a good Facebook post to put up just now. I wanted to say something along the lines of "America forever" or "We will never forget" or something similarly popular and populist and patriotic. But I found myself getting stuck...was I really proud to be an American? What do I think about this long war we have fought? I got political about it. What a strange place to be. Normally I'm just solidly patriotic. I caught myself being cautious of what I said. And thinking about this never-ending conflict of the human race, whatever the particular difference may be. Do I condone war? I don't know. There are plenty of battles and wars in the Bible. Yeah, the non-God-sanctioned ones didn't alway end up too well, but what about when God told the Israelites to wipe out a particular race? Wow, that didn't make any sense. I mean, America doesn't fight wars based on what God tells us to do. So does that mean any war we're fighting is wrong?

 And the funny thing is I didn't mean to get political about it. I just want to honor the memory of those who unwittingly died in the initial attacks. I suppose the Iraq and Afghanistan Wars are so tied in with 9/11, for me, that I can't separate them. I am so immensely grateful and admire very much the men and women in the service who have served and continue to serve in those places and elsewhere. (And so glad Lt K is back safely!) Maybe they don't keep me safe here in IL...after all I could get mugged and they couldn't do anything about it, but I like to think they make America a slightly safer place by preventing the enemy from attacking American soil.

And so I think I'll commemorate the 10th anniversary of the September 11th attacks with prayer for the families still mourning loved ones, and for those still serving overseas...for God's will to be done and for his justice to rule. Amen.

whirlwind

Hi. I'd just like to let you know that I'm suffering from a lack of contact with certain friends back home right now. :( It's been so, so lovely reconnecting with all my Wheaton friends, but some people back home I just can't get off my mind. I read someone's cheesy Facebook status yesterday about how missing someone is when you're doing something and you wish they were there with you. Yeah, that's the way I feel about so much of this. Even simply walking through campus, or sitting in a restaurant, I wish it were with so-and-so. I. miss. people.

But really, it's been amazing how "whole" I've felt. It really is almost like coming home. The first night was the most lonely because it was SO quiet. I missed mommy and daddy and Stephen so much I almost cried then. But Kaitlyn came the day after, and more people, and now we've got a bunch of freshmen on the floor. I have started catching up with so many friends too...about our summers, life in general. Even people I didn't think I'd be so glad to see, and would be so glad to see me. I even talked with one of my senior conservie friends about the whole becoming a non-music-major thing...she's not sure she wants to continue with music either.

Work has been another actually good part of life. The work atmosphere at CPO has always been one of heavy sarcasm and indie music. It took me a little getting used to at first because I'm not always that quick-witted. But it's been great to be one of the experienced workers and to spend time, during work and meals, with a different set of people than I'd normally do.

I am off to write more essays yay...

PS...I suppose this is becoming more of a "time at Wheaton" blog than a "musings of a Wheaton freshman" blog, so it's time to change that blog description...

please don't leave, don't leave me

I am feeling sad and down and angsty tonight. I do not want to leave home again. I hate packing my life into two suitcases, a carry-on, and a backpack. Why does life turn out this way? Whoever thought up the idea of college, and leaving your home to study your butt off in a foreign place, clearly wasn't one of the ones being sent (/was an idiot). Whoever thought it was a good idea for me to go to college 800 miles away was...oh wait, that was me. Because no matter how much I complain about New Jersey, no matter how much I chafe under my parents' discipline, this will always be home. And I will always be homesick. Even when I am happy.

And this is why emotional stability is one of the tenets of good leadership. Because if I were writing this about encampment, I'd be in serious doo-doo right about now. Venting on FB? fuggedaboutit.

just for funzies

LOLOL so I just read an article on Tiger Woods firing his longtime caddie...and here's one of the readers' comments: "Tiger who? I wish he'd just retire and disappear. Why should I be interested in anything he does/did/may do? Like the Kardashians, and Real Housewives, Mike Tyson, Lady Gag-Gag, and Uriah Heep. Good bye, and good night."

URIAH HEEP?? major props to you, well-read commenter. HAHAHA

unless...he's referring to the English rock band, Uriah Heep. In which case I will give him less props, but props to the band for choosing that name. xD

just for funs (and lazies)

So I saw the piano template while I was working on another form...and decided it was now or never, or else I'd never have a chance to use the piano template for anything...so I made a form. Consider it the grown-up version of "Quiz about MEHHH!!?!! <3" hehe